与其向外求宽容，不如向内，反求诸己。“谦谦君子，卑以自牧也。”能自牧便是君子。控制着过剩的情绪，克制住张扬的锋芒，安放好内心的傲慢，封得了言语的戾气。话语出口，先想想是否会伤害别人；行为出手，先想想是否会损害别人。不以自己锋芒刺伤于人，不把自己私利凌驾于人。用现代人的话来讲，就是做好“自我管理”。
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